Sunday, May 16, 2010

Relationship, Fellowship, Community

Sometime last year, my passion for the people in my life got heightened. I just got this sense that I needed to start really focusing on my interactions with others--in all relationships; in fellowship and community. Not just with the people I'm close to, but with people I might only cross paths with once; acquaintances; friends of friends. God calls us to be in relationship, and to be in community. He has blessed me with a core group of people that I see more, communicate with more, desire to grow more closely with, and whom I love fiercely. But I interact with so many other people, too.

I might be in a kindergarten in the morning, at playgroup in the afternoon, at Bible study that evening. The next day I might be in a family's home, and then at a consultant meeting, and providing respite somewhere that evening. How many people might I have interacted with in just 48 hours?

Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about my best fit at work, with friends, with family, in different social circles... where am I supposed to be building relationships? What does God want my different relationships to look like? And how do I live that out?

Via a link off another blog I tend to follow, I found an interesting article on relationships. It is something I think I intuitively figured out several years ago, but never really thought about overtly. It talks about being in relationship not solely for what each person brings to the relationship, but for who each person is in the relationship. Not expecting that because someone is a certain type of friend or colleague, they will fulfill criteria X, Y, and Z; but instead, that friend or colleague brings something of themselves which gives the relationship value, regardless of what they do, but instead, because of who they are.

Interestingly, I think--at least, for myself--this mindset is more likely in relationships that have I've been in for a long time. While each of the people I am close to have strengths that I admire, and that I expect I can count on them for (as I'm assuming others would of me), my desire to spend time with them or grow the relationship starts to have less and less to do with their tangible contributions to the relationship, and more and more to do with just wanting to enjoy that person.


What I've been wanting to do is be able to extend that to the relationships that don't necessarily have a history behind them. To enjoy families that I might only interact with once, and not just carry out the consulting role I am expected to perform. To not expect something specific out of a relationship just because that person meets criteria X when we hang out, but to just be with the person. And the opposite: to seek to build a relationship with someone I might not necessarily take the time to form a deep relationship with because I only expect them to meet criteria X.

It's a work in progress, but it's a blessing-filled journey so far!

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